Thursday, June 12, 2008

Five of us!

I'm (April) still in amazement! Something we began 2 years ago is finally finished. It is true all of the waiting seems so small now that we are home, like labor pains. I can still remember the delivery room for my two birth children, laying there awaiting to hear their first cries, holding my breathe until I heard them. Helena's delivery room was shared with six other families who I will hold dear to my heart. We sat once again awaiting, fighting tears back. I just wanted my little girl. I wanted to hear her cry. I wanted to touch her and know that she was real. I wanted to kiss her head and tell her that, "Mommy is here". When she walked through the door she seemed so small. I stood and gazed upon her, she wanted nothing to do with me but being a Mommy I had packed Cheerios and a sippy cup. She loved that!

Helena has a beautiful smile! She loves to smile. She also loves to give kisses. Her brother and sister love the kisses. God has once again truly blessed me! His love is amazing, he is the one that brought us to this point in our lives and I am so glad that we were faithful and followed his plan. Some days his plan seemed so far out of reach but in the darkness his light was shining. Which brings us back to our newest addition, her name is Helena, and her name means, light. She was a shining light that never went out of our thoughts.

People ask, "why did we want to adopt?" My family asked this same question. People would see us with our other children and tell us that we didn't need to adopt. I believe Jeff and I started our adoption journey about 14 years ago. After we were first married we looked into adoptions and adopting from China, but I was only 18 at the time and you have to be 30 to adopt from China. Our lives got busy, with college, work and children. BUT God brought us back to that place in our lives. I have had five miscarriages, five babies that I'll meet in heaven. That one sentence holds so much emotion, those feelings are hard to explain. I had three miscarriages after my son and that was when I had to ask God why. I knew he was wanting my attention and I just wanted another baby. So March of 2006, I finally turned 30. April of 2006 we began working on our home study. Helena was born July of 2006. God never fails to amaze me! God knew before I was born that I would have a child from China, he already knew. It took me 30 years to figure it out.

I am so thankful. So many people helped us during our adoption. Some helped by donating money others helped by praying for us. Thank you! Those two words can't describe how thankful I am. I want to thank Jeff entering this journey with me. It was an awesome experience that we got to have together, it wasn't easy and some days we thought we couldn't go any further. But I'm thankful that he never gave up on my wild dreams. Thank you. In our family, I'm the dreamer and he tries his very best to make them happen. I'm also grateful for my two little ones that supported our thoughts of adopting and each day they too grew very eager to meet their sister. My daughter Kallie was so brave when we went to China, I was so proud of her. My son Aidan, was himself and is now wanting his brother. Thanks Mom for watching them! I was able to thank Helena's Nanny and the director for her care. I would like to thank the family that sponsored my little girl while she was in foster care.There is one person who I'll never be able to truly thank and that is Helena's birth mother. I thank her for giving me my other little girl. Her mother was very brave and I believe that she truly loved her. Because she did not have to do all that she did to place Helena where she was found.

Thank you all for following us to China and watching us at home! God has been so good to us!

2 comments:

Jeff and April Barnhart said...

dear helena i love you so much that through the photos i wanted you so much the night at the airport i abought cryed

Jeff and April Barnhart said...

helena your here at last i have been waiting for you to come in are front door and you did last month i have the photos of you on the first day kallie